Change is Hard; Poor Charlie Sheen

Charlie SheenI don’t usually write about celebrities or current events per se, but as I watched poor Charlie Sheen struggle with his interview with Matt Lauer, I struggled with him. Why? I know change is hard. I see it in myself and my clients who come to me for help.

What Charlie did was to take a monumental step forward in his own healing. His history of anger and erratic behavior along with alcohol and drug abuse is well documented in the tabloids and TV magazines. His lifestyle and inability to change it led to his latest admission that it cost him millions of dollars and more importantly, his health.

I, like Charlie and most of us have had to face things that were extremely difficult. I tried and tried to quit smoking for years and always went back to it. For many years I was angry that I couldn’t do it but finally found a program that helped me quit and stay quit. Smoking cost me my health too like Charlie. I have only 70% of my lung capacity as a result.

It begs the question of why would I (we) do that to ourselves? Most of us certainly don’t want to harm ourselves on purpose, but we continue do things that might anyway. Our fear of change, fear of losing friends, fear of looking like a failure. Whatever the fear is, it paralyzes us from changing from what we know, even when what we know it is harmful or negative. Weird, huh?

So I contemplated Charlie Sheen’s statements and listened to the obvious fear in his voice and thought good for you Charlie. He really doesn’t know yet how much his life will change for the better. I wish him well and look forward to different, more positive bits about him in the tabloids.

I have extraordinary results treating fear-based beliefs in a safe manner with John F. Barnes myofascial release (JFB-MFR). Take a step like Charlie did and call me to set an appointment or I can will be happy refer you to a JFB-MFR trained therapist near you if you’re not in the Sacramento area.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

We’ve Been Lied To About Feelings

feelings off switch picJohn Barnes, PT trained myofascial release therapists such as myself hear him say again and again of how we are taught from a young age not to feel. This is particularly true in America where it is seen as a weakness.

We are taught by almost every aspect of society to hide our feelings from others. We stifle tears and turn away so no one can see our face. We answer “I’m fine” when we’re really not.

I am amazed at how much this behavior is perpetuated by social media, TV, movies, self-help books and the like. We are told to stuff our feelings and certainly never to cry in public. This is seen as being weak or unstable which is a total lie. If anything, it is a sign of strength and balance.

God gave us our emotions and intuition as a guide to do what is right. Not only for others, but for our own self too. Let your feelings surface instead of holding them inside. And please allow others to let their feelings out as well. Don’t say to them ‘don’t cry, ‘it’s alright’ or ‘it’s okay’. Even touching them or handing them a tissue will stop emotions in their tracks, maybe, never to return. Allow their moment to finish and let them to come to you or to ask for what they need.

I have seen amazing results on my treatment table when clients have that ‘ah-ha’ moment or gradually let go of their old beliefs. You will be empowered with your new freedom from the bondage of keeping your emotions inside. Your body will feel less stressed and a sense of well-being will prevail in all you do.

If you need help, I provide John Barnes myofascial release, which is a safe, gentle hands-on therapy to help you release your stress and get in touch with those stuck feelings that may be preventing you from true healing from old wounds.

Clearing the Clutter

Cluttered desk; Albert EinsteinFunny how Albert Einstein’s mind came up with this question.  I often have to stop and clear my mind to find what I’m trying to remember or solve.

Just the other day as I was looking for a particular replacement part for a window shade I had to dig through piles of stuff on the shelf in the garage. “I know it’s here”, I said to myself. I just ordered and received it a couple of months ago. I felt frustrated about wasting time. I started chastising myself for not putting it in a proper place so it would be easy to find when I needed it, when it occurred to me that I had way too much clutter.

Stepping back and looking at the pile on the shelf, I was able to see what a mixed up mess of stuff was there. Screws, nails, rubber and metal washers, chain link fence ties, brackets, a nylon rope splicer (really?), plumber’s tape, etc. Well, you get the idea, too much clutter to find anything easily.

Clutter also fills our minds so it’s hard to find things there as well. How many times have you forgotten where you put something or forgotten to do something? So why do we take time to clean up and organize the physical clutter in our lives but not the mental clutter?

When I get treated with John Barnes myofascial release, I sometimes find my mind flooded with so many thoughts at the same time it’s stunning how that’s even possible. So much, so fast, so overwhelming. Well, not really overwhelming, more like amazing. You see, I have learned to clean the mental clutter with prayer and intuitive trust. That is, I trust that the most important things will surface and be there when I need them. Conversely, if something trivial or unimportant comes up, I toss it away without a second thought.

To clarify, don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of overthinking things. Trust you intuition to be right and true in all things. If you mull over something too long, it grows and becomes paramount in your mind which makes it harder to ‘find’ other important things. So clear the clutter.

Now, where’s my phone? I can’t find my phone!…

 

10 Ways to Ease Stress; part 2

stock-footage-dolly-shot-of-a-motivational-sign-saying-stress-free-zone-with-a-warm-tropical-beach-backgroundThe first part of easing stress for the most part was about ‘doing’ things differently. No small task when it comes to changing habits or trying to establish new ones. Part two is more about the ‘inner’ or mental aspect of stress relief. These last six items may be more difficult than the first five as they require introspection, which most of us don’t like to do. Hang in there folks, it will be worth it in the long run. If you need help, I provide a safe, non-judgmental place for you to learn how to release stress using John Barnes myofascial release. It is a gentle, non-forceful form of bodywork that allows for true healing. Call me at 916-363-7173 for appointments.

6) Take responsibility. Think of the ‘Serenity Prayer’. Ease your stress by asking what you can change and what you cannot. If you can make a difference in an outcome, take action. If you cannot, then put it out of your mind. Let others be responsible for their own actions, don’t try to ‘fix it’.

7) Reduce stressors. Most of us find that life is filled with too many demands and too little time. And, most of us choose what’s most important to us. You have the power to decide what and when you have time to do something. So, reprioritize weekly and don’t forget to take time out for yourself.

8) Examine your values and live by them. Be true to your ‘self’. Remember, your intuition is never wrong. The more your actions reflect your true beliefs, the better you will feel, no matter how busy your life.

9) Set realistic goals. Set too high, goals become daunting and add stress to your body. A modest, reachable goal is healthy and positive. Remember too, that goals are different from expectations. Most often expectations are out of your control are met with disappointment and resentment.

10) Self talk. Pat yourself on the back ’cause nobody else will. It’s important to remind yourself when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed that you’re doing the best you can. You can’t give more than 100% (no matter what your coach said).

Practice, practice, practice. Do not give up on trying ways to relieve your stress. Even if you only put one or two of these into practice, you will reduce your stress and feel better. So, welcome to the ‘Stress-free’ zone.

Being In The Moment

Live in the moment quoteIn my first week of massage therapy school unbeknownst to this country boy, I was to start on a journey that continues to this day of trying to be in the moment.

In MT school I heard terms and phrases foreign to me in the context they were used.  Terms like ‘grounded’ and ‘centered’.  Grounding I knew was something I had to careful of so I wouldn’t get a shock when working on the electric fence.  Centered was making sure something was in the middle so it looked just right.  But they were referring to being ‘in the moment’, nah that was just weird I thought, and besides, I told myself, “I’m in the moment”.

This ‘being in the moment’ means not just now and then, but to strive to stay there all the time.  That’s the hard part, huh?  I am constantly reminded by my subconscious to come back to the moment.  One of the funniest reminders (and there are many) was just the other morning as I finished drying off after my shower.  I took a wooden pants hanger out of my closet and proceeded to hang my wet towel on it and head toward the closet to hang it up when it hit me.  What am I doing?  Where am I?  Sheesh, I sure wasn’t “in the moment”, that’s for sure.  Laughing out loud when I realized what I was doing, I hurried out to tell my wife what new thing I did.  Ironically, that’s being in the moment.

There are many reasons to stay in the moment.  For me, the most important is that it allows for more choices.  I know if I am not in the moment I tend to react to things instead of making a choice.  In a split second I am able to listen and choose my response.  And if I don’t listen, usually a negative reaction follows.

Everything we do or say is so interrelated.  If you have read my previous blogs about “Letting Go” they may help you understand what I am saying now.  Because we can’t possibly be ‘in the moment’ all the time, we need to be easy on ourselves when we react negatively.  So noticing you’re NOT in the moment is very important too, for that also gives you information for future use.

Sometimes I don’t want to be in a particular moment because it brings up bad feelings or I don’t want to make a hard choice.  What then?  Well, I remind myself that I got through a similar moment in the past and that I will do so again.  I might even find a different choice that hadn’t come up before.

And just think of all of the little things we get to enjoy by being in the moment.  Something like a colorful sunset, the joy of your child when they get that homework problem solved, a reassuring touch you from your spouse, a smile from a stranger, a knowing glance from your best friend.

So, may you seek out new things and find new awareness in your own journey of finding how to just be in the moment.  As a specialist trained in the John F. Barnes, PT approach to myofascial release I can provide a safe environment to help you learn to let go and be in the moment.  JFB-MFR provides the ultimate in authentic body, mind and spiritual healing.

What is Letting Go? – part 1

Crosshand technique

Who has heard the phrase or been told to “just let go”?

What is letting go and is it really possible for us to do so?

As I was pondering this subject, it soon became apparent that this would be a multi-part post as there are so many variables to consider.

First, letting go means different things to each of us.  And what may seem like letting go of something to one person may not seem that way to another.  So, letting go may be attached to judgments, huh?  I believe that is what makes it a personal process for each of us as we try to let go.  In other words, there is no right or wrong way to do it.

This question of letting go is so intertwined in everything we do and say, that to some, it has become a cliché.  Many times it is said by someone as an off-hand remark usually meant to end a disagreement or to change the subject.

Second, letting go does not mean you are giving up, are weak, or non caring or indecisive.  It does not mean you are losing control or yielding to someone or something.  As John F. Barnes, P.T. said “control is the ultimate in letting go”.  What?  Yes, that was a mind-bender for me too when I first heard it.  Just our awareness of the need to let go of something gives us more power, more choices and more possibilities.

Consider what happens when someone cuts you off while driving on the freeway.  The emotional feeling is of fright and anger and the physical feeling is of tightness in your body.  All of it combined is also a dangerous distraction to your own driving.  But when it happens again, you keep reacting in the same way…not letting go.

Now consider the friend or family member that went back on their word letting you down, or the coworker that went behind your back and got the credit you deserved.  Do you still think about them?  Are they dictating how you act even when they are not around?  Are you feeling stuck with how to deal with them?

These little things become big things that are held in our body creating discomfort and ultimately dis-ease.  So, whether we are talking about a seemingly insignificant event or a huge life-changing trauma, we need to allow for letting go for our own wellbeing.

As a John F. Barnes trained myofascial release therapist, I can help you to learn how to let go in a safe manner.  With your new awareness comes a freedom of multiple choices of how to react to the event when it happens again.

Social Media & Change

I have avoided social media until I recently joined a professional networking group that is based in and thrives on social media.  Well, here it is – trial by fire, thrown into the lion’s den, sink or swim.  You pick the analogy that works for you, but here I am doggy paddling (upstream) my way through the social media network, starting today.  And who knows, I might even buy a smart phone!

In short, this means I am a rookie.  So, go easy on me, but I definitely welcome your feedback.   Feel free to post and share any or part of what you see and like.

An interesting part of change is the chaos that comes before the change.  It doesn’t seem to matter how large the change is either, which makes it all the more puzzling to us when we try something different.  I have been saying to myself for years how I need to learn about social media, but I felt overwhelmed and did not know where to start.  It paralyzed me just thinking about it…where do I start, what is important, what if I “do” it wrong….  chaos prevented me from change.

It’s worth reminding ourselves that we’re OK as we go through the chaos of change.  We may not like the way we feel or the hassle or the learning curve or what others may advise, but change is good.  Change means we are learning, we are trying new things, we are moving forward, we are alive.

As a John F. Barnes trained Myofascial Release therapist, I treat clients daily and am reminded of the advantages of going through  chaos to get to what’s on the other side.  Pain, stress or fear of the unknown can cause chaos both physically and emotionally.  I help people feel better by facilitating their healing, keeping them safe and helping them weather the chaos of change.

Isn’t it funny that I found myself stuck in chaos?  Ahhh, change is not easy.