We’ve Been Lied To About Feelings

feelings off switch picJohn Barnes, PT trained myofascial release therapists such as myself hear him say again and again of how we are taught from a young age not to feel. This is particularly true in America where it is seen as a weakness.

We are taught by almost every aspect of society to hide our feelings from others. We stifle tears and turn away so no one can see our face. We answer “I’m fine” when we’re really not.

I am amazed at how much this behavior is perpetuated by social media, TV, movies, self-help books and the like. We are told to stuff our feelings and certainly never to cry in public. This is seen as being weak or unstable which is a total lie. If anything, it is a sign of strength and balance.

God gave us our emotions and intuition as a guide to do what is right. Not only for others, but for our own self too. Let your feelings surface instead of holding them inside. And please allow others to let their feelings out as well. Don’t say to them ‘don’t cry, ‘it’s alright’ or ‘it’s okay’. Even touching them or handing them a tissue will stop emotions in their tracks, maybe, never to return. Allow their moment to finish and let them to come to you or to ask for what they need.

I have seen amazing results on my treatment table when clients have that ‘ah-ha’ moment or gradually let go of their old beliefs. You will be empowered with your new freedom from the bondage of keeping your emotions inside. Your body will feel less stressed and a sense of well-being will prevail in all you do.

If you need help, I provide John Barnes myofascial release, which is a safe, gentle hands-on therapy to help you release your stress and get in touch with those stuck feelings that may be preventing you from true healing from old wounds.

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Clearing the Clutter

Cluttered desk; Albert EinsteinFunny how Albert Einstein’s mind came up with this question.  I often have to stop and clear my mind to find what I’m trying to remember or solve.

Just the other day as I was looking for a particular replacement part for a window shade I had to dig through piles of stuff on the shelf in the garage. “I know it’s here”, I said to myself. I just ordered and received it a couple of months ago. I felt frustrated about wasting time. I started chastising myself for not putting it in a proper place so it would be easy to find when I needed it, when it occurred to me that I had way too much clutter.

Stepping back and looking at the pile on the shelf, I was able to see what a mixed up mess of stuff was there. Screws, nails, rubber and metal washers, chain link fence ties, brackets, a nylon rope splicer (really?), plumber’s tape, etc. Well, you get the idea, too much clutter to find anything easily.

Clutter also fills our minds so it’s hard to find things there as well. How many times have you forgotten where you put something or forgotten to do something? So why do we take time to clean up and organize the physical clutter in our lives but not the mental clutter?

When I get treated with John Barnes myofascial release, I sometimes find my mind flooded with so many thoughts at the same time it’s stunning how that’s even possible. So much, so fast, so overwhelming. Well, not really overwhelming, more like amazing. You see, I have learned to clean the mental clutter with prayer and intuitive trust. That is, I trust that the most important things will surface and be there when I need them. Conversely, if something trivial or unimportant comes up, I toss it away without a second thought.

To clarify, don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of overthinking things. Trust you intuition to be right and true in all things. If you mull over something too long, it grows and becomes paramount in your mind which makes it harder to ‘find’ other important things. So clear the clutter.

Now, where’s my phone? I can’t find my phone!…

 

10 Way to Ease Stress; part one

stock-footage-dolly-shot-of-a-motivational-sign-saying-stress-free-zone-with-a-warm-tropical-beach-backgroundWe all have stress. It’s a part of modern life so here are some tips on how to help reduce the affects of stress on your body. I have divided this into two parts so it’s not so overwhelming. As you read this, take what may apply to your own situation as not every suggestion will be meaningful to you. The important thing is to become aware or your stress and if needed, this will give you something to draw on for help. Of course, my specialty, John Barnes myofascial release can significantly help reduce your stress in as little as an hour a week so if you’re in the Sacramento metro area, give me call at 916-363-7173.

1) Eat and drink sensibly. Take time to prepare foods instead of eating ‘fast food’. Try not to binge or habitually eat snack foods. Choose wisely and eat or drink in moderation. Drinking alcohol and overeating may seem to reduce stress, but it actually adds to it.

2) Assert yourself. You do not have to meet others’ expectations or demands. And remember, they don’t have to meet yours either. It’s okay to say “No.” If you are being assertive, not angry, it allows you to stand up for your rights and beliefs while respecting those of others. 

3) Stop smoking. Nicotine acts as a stimulant and brings on more stress symptoms. Give yourself the gift of dropping this unhealthy habit. There are many free stop smoking programs available if you need help and support. 

4) Exercise regularly. Choose non-competitive exercise and set reasonable goals. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins which are natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude. If you need help getting started, contact a personal trainer for advice.

5) Practice relaxation techniques. Relax every day. Yep, take time for your ‘self’. Choose from a variety of different techniques such as deep breathing, Bible reading, listening to guided imagery or a soothing piece of music. Try combining opposites; a time for deep relaxation and a time for aerobic exercise is a sure way to protect your body from the effects of stress.

Letting Go – part 3

Alan Watts trust quote imageRosemont Therapy Image 1The layers of our life experiences are interconnected and pile on to one another in our subconscious, affecting us in our daily lives, some we don’t even notice, some we hang on to.

Imagine those experiences are like spaghetti on a plate reaching like little tentacles touching and affecting many others on the plate.  When one noodle is moved or disturbed, are many others disturbed?  Yes they are.

Now, in most cases we are able to get over our hurtful negative life experiences without help.  But, when those unhappy ones surprise us, like suddenly losing a relative, we can be left full of regrets.  Trying to resolve these with our thinking brain through logical reasoning can seem like resolution, but in reality we are being fooled by our own selves into believing that everything that needs to be let go of actually is.  We have recurring triggers in our daily lives and we mistakenly believe that we have come to terms with what is bothering us.

What then to do to access those feelings and achieve true letting go?  Faith is how.  We need a belief and trust that things will be better even though we can’t see it, touch it or “prove” it with facts.

I am not talking about a particular religious belief, but a belief in a higher power.  It is of no matter as to what or who the higher power is, although for me, I rely on Jesus Christ as my guide.  The concept of having faith is a constant in all religious beliefs and cultures and it is an integral part of being human.  The problem is we have been taught not to feel.  The evolution of this relatively new belief system of not relying on our faith and intuition has to be reversed.  Our well-being depends on it.

Faith is necessary because we cannot apply logical thinking to resolve our illogical feelings.  Have you ever tried to convey your feelings about someone or something to another person to no avail?  Can they really understand where you are and what you are feeling?  It is difficult at best and probably impossible, because you have your unique layers of life experiences and they have theirs.  Conversely, is it really possible for you to understand their feelings and experiences?

Letting go is up to the individual to go through on their own.  The “Serenity Prayer” helps point out how we, as individuals need to rely on a higher power and our own awareness to let go.  If you are not familiar with it, here is one version:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Amen

This is why faith is such and important factor in our healing.  And if you really want to let go, forgiveness and not judging yourself and others is involved also.

As a John F. Barnes (JFB) trained myofascial release (MFR) therapist, I have first-hand experience in learning how to let go.  Being treated by an experienced JFB-MFR therapist allowed for new awareness to surface and combined with my Christian faith, gave me the ability to make huge steps in letting go of old beliefs.  It really is the ultimate mind/body therapy.

Letting Go – part 2

How do we change the way we react someone or to something?

I asked the question last week “what is letting go and is it really possible”.

The complexities of letting go are like a 3-dimensional web of energy reaching in and out of our own individual being.  In other words, our interaction with others and our inner self is affected when we hold on to something.

That “something” could be a personality conflict with another, a lost job opportunity, a ‘wrong’ decision of years past, an ongoing disagreement, bereavement, making a mistake, beating yourself up, yelling, fear of failure and the list goes on…

Have you ever felt tightness in your chest, had a swirling stomach, headaches, and shortness of breath?  These symptoms are not coincidences; they are your body talking to you.  If we have the ability to let go, these reactions will not develop into holding patterns and will not lead to dis-ease and illness.

When we feel our body and really listen to what our body is telling us, we can make different decisions.  If we have expectations of the way something will be, then if it isn’t, we feel bad.  So, it becomes necessary to stay in the moment, not to judge or expect things to be a certain way.  Sometimes a judgment is healthy, so listen to your intuition, your inner voice…it is NEVER wrong!

Many of us have stopped listening to our intuition.  Not to rely on our subconscious for guidance in our daily lives.  We’ve been taught, for example, not to cry in front of others.  So, when we want, or need to show our grief by crying, the process is stopped and is not completed.  We now have this conflict within us, under the surface, always needing to let go.

These unresolved, under the surface conflicts are triggered by everyday occurrences and then we don’t know what or why we are feeling the way we do.  All we know is that we don’t feel good.

As a John F. Barnes, P.T. trained myofascial release specialist, I help in a safe manner to access the subconscious holding patterns that keep us from healing the physical and emotional pain we are having.

The John F. Barnes, P.T. approach to myofascial release is hands-on bodywork and is the most comprehensive mind/body therapy ever developed.  It allows for authentic healing using gentle sustained pressure allowing the body to let go of restrictions when it’s ready, without force or protocol.

Letting go is very much a process and life goes on with new challenges to be addressed, so, be easy on your self as you learn how to let go.  It is difficult, but definitely worth it.

Next week I will talk about how faith plays a big part in letting go.

What is Letting Go? – part 1

Crosshand technique

Who has heard the phrase or been told to “just let go”?

What is letting go and is it really possible for us to do so?

As I was pondering this subject, it soon became apparent that this would be a multi-part post as there are so many variables to consider.

First, letting go means different things to each of us.  And what may seem like letting go of something to one person may not seem that way to another.  So, letting go may be attached to judgments, huh?  I believe that is what makes it a personal process for each of us as we try to let go.  In other words, there is no right or wrong way to do it.

This question of letting go is so intertwined in everything we do and say, that to some, it has become a cliché.  Many times it is said by someone as an off-hand remark usually meant to end a disagreement or to change the subject.

Second, letting go does not mean you are giving up, are weak, or non caring or indecisive.  It does not mean you are losing control or yielding to someone or something.  As John F. Barnes, P.T. said “control is the ultimate in letting go”.  What?  Yes, that was a mind-bender for me too when I first heard it.  Just our awareness of the need to let go of something gives us more power, more choices and more possibilities.

Consider what happens when someone cuts you off while driving on the freeway.  The emotional feeling is of fright and anger and the physical feeling is of tightness in your body.  All of it combined is also a dangerous distraction to your own driving.  But when it happens again, you keep reacting in the same way…not letting go.

Now consider the friend or family member that went back on their word letting you down, or the coworker that went behind your back and got the credit you deserved.  Do you still think about them?  Are they dictating how you act even when they are not around?  Are you feeling stuck with how to deal with them?

These little things become big things that are held in our body creating discomfort and ultimately dis-ease.  So, whether we are talking about a seemingly insignificant event or a huge life-changing trauma, we need to allow for letting go for our own wellbeing.

As a John F. Barnes trained myofascial release therapist, I can help you to learn how to let go in a safe manner.  With your new awareness comes a freedom of multiple choices of how to react to the event when it happens again.