We’ve Been Lied To About Feelings

feelings off switch picJohn Barnes, PT trained myofascial release therapists such as myself hear him say again and again of how we are taught from a young age not to feel. This is particularly true in America where it is seen as a weakness.

We are taught by almost every aspect of society to hide our feelings from others. We stifle tears and turn away so no one can see our face. We answer “I’m fine” when we’re really not.

I am amazed at how much this behavior is perpetuated by social media, TV, movies, self-help books and the like. We are told to stuff our feelings and certainly never to cry in public. This is seen as being weak or unstable which is a total lie. If anything, it is a sign of strength and balance.

God gave us our emotions and intuition as a guide to do what is right. Not only for others, but for our own self too. Let your feelings surface instead of holding them inside. And please allow others to let their feelings out as well. Don’t say to them ‘don’t cry, ‘it’s alright’ or ‘it’s okay’. Even touching them or handing them a tissue will stop emotions in their tracks, maybe, never to return. Allow their moment to finish and let them to come to you or to ask for what they need.

I have seen amazing results on my treatment table when clients have that ‘ah-ha’ moment or gradually let go of their old beliefs. You will be empowered with your new freedom from the bondage of keeping your emotions inside. Your body will feel less stressed and a sense of well-being will prevail in all you do.

If you need help, I provide John Barnes myofascial release, which is a safe, gentle hands-on therapy to help you release your stress and get in touch with those stuck feelings that may be preventing you from true healing from old wounds.


10 Way to Ease Stress; part one

stock-footage-dolly-shot-of-a-motivational-sign-saying-stress-free-zone-with-a-warm-tropical-beach-backgroundWe all have stress. It’s a part of modern life so here are some tips on how to help reduce the affects of stress on your body. I have divided this into two parts so it’s not so overwhelming. As you read this, take what may apply to your own situation as not every suggestion will be meaningful to you. The important thing is to become aware or your stress and if needed, this will give you something to draw on for help. Of course, my specialty, John Barnes myofascial release can significantly help reduce your stress in as little as an hour a week so if you’re in the Sacramento metro area, give me call at 916-363-7173.

1) Eat and drink sensibly. Take time to prepare foods instead of eating ‘fast food’. Try not to binge or habitually eat snack foods. Choose wisely and eat or drink in moderation. Drinking alcohol and overeating may seem to reduce stress, but it actually adds to it.

2) Assert yourself. You do not have to meet others’ expectations or demands. And remember, they don’t have to meet yours either. It’s okay to say “No.” If you are being assertive, not angry, it allows you to stand up for your rights and beliefs while respecting those of others. 

3) Stop smoking. Nicotine acts as a stimulant and brings on more stress symptoms. Give yourself the gift of dropping this unhealthy habit. There are many free stop smoking programs available if you need help and support. 

4) Exercise regularly. Choose non-competitive exercise and set reasonable goals. Aerobic exercise has been shown to release endorphins which are natural substances that help you feel better and maintain a positive attitude. If you need help getting started, contact a personal trainer for advice.

5) Practice relaxation techniques. Relax every day. Yep, take time for your ‘self’. Choose from a variety of different techniques such as deep breathing, Bible reading, listening to guided imagery or a soothing piece of music. Try combining opposites; a time for deep relaxation and a time for aerobic exercise is a sure way to protect your body from the effects of stress.

Being In The Moment

Live in the moment quoteIn my first week of massage therapy school unbeknownst to this country boy, I was to start on a journey that continues to this day of trying to be in the moment.

In MT school I heard terms and phrases foreign to me in the context they were used.  Terms like ‘grounded’ and ‘centered’.  Grounding I knew was something I had to careful of so I wouldn’t get a shock when working on the electric fence.  Centered was making sure something was in the middle so it looked just right.  But they were referring to being ‘in the moment’, nah that was just weird I thought, and besides, I told myself, “I’m in the moment”.

This ‘being in the moment’ means not just now and then, but to strive to stay there all the time.  That’s the hard part, huh?  I am constantly reminded by my subconscious to come back to the moment.  One of the funniest reminders (and there are many) was just the other morning as I finished drying off after my shower.  I took a wooden pants hanger out of my closet and proceeded to hang my wet towel on it and head toward the closet to hang it up when it hit me.  What am I doing?  Where am I?  Sheesh, I sure wasn’t “in the moment”, that’s for sure.  Laughing out loud when I realized what I was doing, I hurried out to tell my wife what new thing I did.  Ironically, that’s being in the moment.

There are many reasons to stay in the moment.  For me, the most important is that it allows for more choices.  I know if I am not in the moment I tend to react to things instead of making a choice.  In a split second I am able to listen and choose my response.  And if I don’t listen, usually a negative reaction follows.

Everything we do or say is so interrelated.  If you have read my previous blogs about “Letting Go” they may help you understand what I am saying now.  Because we can’t possibly be ‘in the moment’ all the time, we need to be easy on ourselves when we react negatively.  So noticing you’re NOT in the moment is very important too, for that also gives you information for future use.

Sometimes I don’t want to be in a particular moment because it brings up bad feelings or I don’t want to make a hard choice.  What then?  Well, I remind myself that I got through a similar moment in the past and that I will do so again.  I might even find a different choice that hadn’t come up before.

And just think of all of the little things we get to enjoy by being in the moment.  Something like a colorful sunset, the joy of your child when they get that homework problem solved, a reassuring touch you from your spouse, a smile from a stranger, a knowing glance from your best friend.

So, may you seek out new things and find new awareness in your own journey of finding how to just be in the moment.  As a specialist trained in the John F. Barnes, PT approach to myofascial release I can provide a safe environment to help you learn to let go and be in the moment.  JFB-MFR provides the ultimate in authentic body, mind and spiritual healing.